What I've Learned...

Infertility hasn't been an easy journey, but I'd like to think it has taught me a few things...

Life is not fair. Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people. People who would make awful parents have children (ahem, Casey Anthony, ahem). And people who would be the absolute best parents remain childless. This must be why almost every language has a way of saying, "That's life..." ("Asi es la vida,""C'est la vie," etc.)

Always have a plan B. Also, a plan C and a plan D won't hurt either... My plan A was to have a baby naturally. Since there's a very slim chance of that happening, I've moved on to plan B, which is fertility treatments so we can try to have a baby who is genetically our own. If that doesn't work by the beginning of 2015, I want to move on to plan C, which is adoption. (The thing about domestic newborn adoption is that married, college-educated couples in their 20s and 30s typically have a shorter wait, so I don't want to wait until we're in our 40s to try for adoption.) Of course, if plan C doesn't pan out in a year, I think we should move on to plan D, which is to live our lives without children of our own. It's good to know when to move on or when to stop trying completely, at least for our own sanity.

Forgiveness. People have said a lot of hurtful things to me whether they intended to or not. Holding onto that hurt is like drinking small amounts of acid everyday and letting it eat you up from the inside out until you're eventually nothing. This is not a good way to live. Whether or not I've received an apology, I have had to forgive people and learn to let go. It's not easy, but I do feel better when I honestly forgive others.

Not to look at Facebook when I'm having a bad day. Chances are someone I know is posting a picture of their ultrasound or their daily status update about some adorably cute/disgusting thing their child did that they think no other child has done before. I don't want to feel worse about being childless, but I can't de-friend them and I can't hide them. If I did, the only things that would appear on my newsfeed would be George Takei and Grumpy Cat. So I just avoid Facebook on those days and nobody gets hurt.

I'm the only one who can give my life meaning. No child can do that. No husband either. So I keep making plans. I go to concerts, movies, museums, etc. I spoil the kids that are actually in my life. I work. I workout. I travel. I write. It's these little things that matter. It's these little things that make up a life.